eMeditation on the Bible

Question: How is patience related to love?

NOTE: This series of meditations examines love according to the Bible’s great love poem.

According to the Bible: “Love is patient.” (1 Corinthians 13:4)

General Principle
Patience is controlling your reactions when frustrated or upset by people or situations that do not go according to your expectations, goals or desires. Patience consists of internal control (self-control) when you feel that you do not have sufficient external control over situations and people in your life.

It is natural to respond to frustration by saying or doing things to get control over the behavior of people and situations to try to make them conform to our own expectations. But quick reactions to frustration can harm relationships and make matters worse. However, patience is not simply the weakness of passivity. Nor is patience the absence of an emotional reaction to frustration or the failure to take appropriate action at the right time. Instead, patience is the great inner strength of love that comes from spiritual maturity.

Connection to Love
Patience is a quality of love because love always: (1) seeks what is best for others as much as for oneself and (2) strives for the harmonious well-being of relationships. Therefore, love expressed by patience seeks to avoid doing or saying anything that may damage relationships.

Furthermore, God’s love is characterized by patience toward all members of the human family, including each of us. Our heavenly father does not force us to end our separation from him or to conform to his will. Our heavenly father reaches out to us in love and patiently waits for us to respond to his love.

Personal Application
As God’s love transforms our hearts to increasingly share God’s nature of love, our capacity for patience grows. We cultivate patience when we view every frustration as an opportunity to grow spiritually by:
(1) waiting before responding;
(2) considering how to respond in a way that will be best for the well-being of the others involved in the situation and the harmony of the relationships;
(3) thinking about how to avoid saying or doing anything that may hurt others or relationships.

Respond by Growing
Resist the urge to act immediately when frustrated by:
(1) entrusting the frustrating situation to God and trusting God to bring good out of the difficulty in the long run;
(2) using empathy to place yourself in the other person’s place and consider how you would want others to respond to you;
(3) giving others room to be themselves and to make mistakes and time to improve;
(4) replacing negative views of the intentions of others with alternative interpretations that place them in the best possible light.

Finally, be patient with yourself when you recognize you have not handled a situation well.